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thepanicship2016-04-28 05:02 pm
be_acknowledged) wrote in thepanicship2016-04-28 05:02 pm
Restless Nights
Who: Choromatsu and others
What: However briefly, he's now the oldest, and has some things to think about. Also, weather.
Where: Level 5 Block 2 first, then around the ship
When: The night after the announcement
Warning(s): Matsus.
PRIVATE; LEVEL 5 BLOCK 2
The first time he had slept in a bed by himself, he'd been on the cusp of finally becoming the adult he'd wanted to be. And then he'd thrown it out.
This time is different. He'd CHOSEN to move out that time; this time, the isolation is imposed. He lies awake in bed, various thoughts and anxieties running through his head in a raucous cacophony keeping him awake. Thoughts like whether they would see home again, whether he would be able to keep up being a good worker or if he'd just slip behind like before, whether he'd be able to be a good big brother to Jyushimatsu during this situation.
About being a big brother at all.
He'd often fantasized about being the oldest. Considering how useless the eldest two could be -- Osomatsu with his stunted maturity, Karamatsu with his egocentric detachment from reality -- the idea of being the one who called the shots had a lot of appeal. He could be the one to help guide them on the road to independence! They could actually move forward and stop being shitty NEETs! Even as a child, he'd fantasized about it, although he didn't like to talk about what happened the one time he DID have authority these days, seeing as it was very embarrassing. As they'd gotten older and it became increasingly obvious that Osomatsu had no intention of growing up mentally, the urge had grown greater. And now, it seems, he IS the eldest here.
Yet for some reason, now that the fantasy is real, it's... terrifying. He has to look over Jyushimatsu now, has to help guide him. He has no support, no one to watch his back. He has to make these decisions now. Him, the scumbag who couldn't even hold down a job for a full year before quitting it. Could he really do this sort of thing? What if he just makes things worse? If he ever sees the others again and it turns out something happened to Jyushimatsu under his watch, would they ever forgive him? Is he... really independent enough?
The thoughts, compounded with the lack of room or bedmates, prevent him from sleeping. He could just get up and walk it off, but would that really be okay? Would anybody else even be up? Would --
...was that thunder?
PUBLIC; ALL
Puddles drip in Choromatsu's wake as he walks through the ship. Well, at least he'd put the Nyaa-chan stuff somewhere safe when the warning had come up, but...
Would any place on this ship even CARRY towels at this hour?
What: However briefly, he's now the oldest, and has some things to think about. Also, weather.
Where: Level 5 Block 2 first, then around the ship
When: The night after the announcement
Warning(s): Matsus.
PRIVATE; LEVEL 5 BLOCK 2
The first time he had slept in a bed by himself, he'd been on the cusp of finally becoming the adult he'd wanted to be. And then he'd thrown it out.
This time is different. He'd CHOSEN to move out that time; this time, the isolation is imposed. He lies awake in bed, various thoughts and anxieties running through his head in a raucous cacophony keeping him awake. Thoughts like whether they would see home again, whether he would be able to keep up being a good worker or if he'd just slip behind like before, whether he'd be able to be a good big brother to Jyushimatsu during this situation.
About being a big brother at all.
He'd often fantasized about being the oldest. Considering how useless the eldest two could be -- Osomatsu with his stunted maturity, Karamatsu with his egocentric detachment from reality -- the idea of being the one who called the shots had a lot of appeal. He could be the one to help guide them on the road to independence! They could actually move forward and stop being shitty NEETs! Even as a child, he'd fantasized about it, although he didn't like to talk about what happened the one time he DID have authority these days, seeing as it was very embarrassing. As they'd gotten older and it became increasingly obvious that Osomatsu had no intention of growing up mentally, the urge had grown greater. And now, it seems, he IS the eldest here.
Yet for some reason, now that the fantasy is real, it's... terrifying. He has to look over Jyushimatsu now, has to help guide him. He has no support, no one to watch his back. He has to make these decisions now. Him, the scumbag who couldn't even hold down a job for a full year before quitting it. Could he really do this sort of thing? What if he just makes things worse? If he ever sees the others again and it turns out something happened to Jyushimatsu under his watch, would they ever forgive him? Is he... really independent enough?
The thoughts, compounded with the lack of room or bedmates, prevent him from sleeping. He could just get up and walk it off, but would that really be okay? Would anybody else even be up? Would --
...was that thunder?
PUBLIC; ALL
Puddles drip in Choromatsu's wake as he walks through the ship. Well, at least he'd put the Nyaa-chan stuff somewhere safe when the warning had come up, but...
Would any place on this ship even CARRY towels at this hour?